How to pray through infertility

Praying while you’re waiting on motherhood is an act of faith and trust in God. It’s a simple yet powerful gesture that any woman can do whether you’re single, married but aren’t ready, are trying to conceive, or are struggling with fertility. If you fall in the first few of these categories, Val has so many resources and blogs like How to pray for your kids or Praying through pregnancy for you to cover your future children in prayer. However, if you’re someone like me (Alissia) who has been struggling with fertility issues, I want to speak directly to you. You may feel like you are losing faith, becoming bitter, or even feel like you have lost all hope in child bearing. It’s a difficult and overwhelming experience. It can often hit hard at the core of our value and worth, making us question God’s love and purpose. BUT friend, you are not alone in your questioning or grief. 

I recently read Jordan Lee Dooley’s book Embrace Your Almost, where she shares her story about struggling with failure. Specifically about her disrupted dreams of becoming a mother and how she practically dealt with the grief of those experiences. The book is super encouraging and filled with lots of Godly wisdom, but one specific quote stood out to me. “It simply means you learn to sit with the tension of both disappointment and possibility.” In other words, if you are in the waiting season, you have to learn how to be okay with all of these emotions, but still have hope for the future. If this is you, here are some prayers that have brought me comfort on those trying days:

1. When your faith is waning

Hebrews 11:11 “And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise.”

Lord, I come before You with humility in my heart, recognizing that nothing is beyond Your reach. As You fulfilled Your promise to Sarah, I too trust in Your unwavering faithfulness through this season of infertility. Please grant me the wisdom to comprehend that nothing can obstruct Your will in my life. In every situation, I am reminded that Your authority is supreme. Regardless of my age, health, or any uncertainties I may face, I know that Your miraculous power transcends all limits.

2. When others receive what you’re praying for

Ephesians 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as Christ forgave you.”

I come to You today with a heavy heart, filled with bitterness and resentment towards others. I ask for your forgiveness for allowing these negative emotions to take control of my heart and mind. Please help me to release these feelings and replace them with love, kindness, and compassion towards those who have received the blessings I have been praying for. I know that everything happens for a reason, and I trust that your plan for my life is perfect. Please help me to see the bigger picture and to understand that the blessings of others do not diminish my own. I pray that you would help me to celebrate with those who have received their hearts’ desires, and to trust that my own blessing is on its way.

3. When grief hits hard every month

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

My heart is deeply grieved Father, and my spirit is wounded. Yet I seek Your face. Even in the midst of deep grief from another no this month, I know that I’m not alone. Your presence is with me every step of the way, and I find comfort and strength in knowing that You are my refuge and my fortress. Help me to lean on You and trust in Your plan, even when things don’t make sense. I know that You are working all things together for my good, and that You have a purpose and a plan for my life. So I surrender my pain and my brokenness to You, and ask that You would heal me and restore me according to Your perfect will. May Your peace that surpasses all understanding guard my heart and mind.

4. When you feel hopeless

Lamentations 3:24-26 “The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.”

God, in this moment of despair and hopelessness, I come before You seeking Your divine comfort and guidance. I acknowledge that You are good, and I put my hope in You, for You promise to bless those who seek after You. I pray that You will give me the strength to wait patiently through infertility, even when it feels like the darkness will never end. Help me to trust in Your goodness and love, even when I cannot see a way forward. I pray that You will grant me the blessing of children in Your perfect timing, according to Your will.

It’s important to remember that God has a plan for each of our lives, and sometimes that plan may include struggles or challenges. But by trusting in Him and His timing, we can find peace and comfort even in the midst of difficult times. While trying to conceive and being unable to can seem unbearable, peace and hope are found in the Lord. 

“Sometimes we’re afraid to look at the mysteries, afraid even to admit the existence of things we can’t understand. We’d rather try to ignore it, deny it. But the true child of the Father is sure of His love, and with eyes wide open accepts them. With eyes wide open to the mercies of God, we can bear with the storms. We can love even the storms because within them they carry God’s sovereign and merciful purposes for us…when things seem most utterly wrong, they are going most right. When prayers seem unheard and unanswered, they are those from which we will get the most magnificent answers.” – Elisabeth Elliot

We cling to this hope and lean into his perfect plan and timing. 

In community, these feelings from the enemy lose their grip. There are sisters around you that know your struggle and are willing to walk with you – lean in. Don’t lose hope! Don’t become discouraged! Learn to embrace the possibility of what’s to come because it’s so much better than what we have planned. I would love to join you in prayer – comment below if this resonates with you.